My New Favorite 4 Letter Word
A few weeks ago, both of our kids went off to sleep away camp. And for the first time in ten years, I didn’t have anyone to take care of but myself. We’ve been spending the month in New York City and there’s something about being in the city that says “no cooking.” So I haven’t even done that.
I had all these visions of productivity grandeur for this time. My plan was for this to be the most productive four weeks I’ve had in years. But on my first day here, when I sat down with my calendar, I actually panicked. I looked at my schedule and I felt like the time was already gone. I started in with my traditional four letter string of words flipping through my calendar trying to figure out how I would possibly fit it all in. But then a new four letter word popped into my head and for the first time in a long time, I had the space to actually listen to it. SLOW. I stopped and took a deep breath and decided that for that day, at least, I was going to go that route instead. I was going to slow down. I would coach my clients, see a friend, go for a walk on the Hudson, and slow. the fuck. down. Looking back, it’s funny that that’s what came to me amidst the hustle and bustle of NYC. New York is the fastest place I’ve ever been. But something about the change in routine and the change of scenery changed my perspective. I actually stopped long enough to hear the little voice inside of me that was yelling, “SLOW DOWN!!” I did it that day, and I’ve continued every day since. It’s been the most productive thing I’ve done in ten years.
Slowing down has meant that I’m not operating on automatic. Which means that I’m doing a lot more breathing. Which means that I’m spending a lot more time actually choosing how I want to respond to people and situations rather than just reacting. I spend so much time working with clients to slow down so that they can stop their habitual reactions and start consciously choosing how they want to respond. And meanwhile, my life has been going so fast that I couldn’t create the space to do that myself most of the time.
And perhaps most importantly, life has been so much more fun without the insane (self-imposed) pressure to get it all done. And you know what? It’s still getting done. I’ve given my brain the space to get creative again and think about things rather than just pound them out. It’s been so much more productive.
Part of what I work on with my clients is creating a life by their design - and for many of us that has meant opting out of the “busy is better” attitude of our current culture. But I forgot. My drive to grow my business was drowning out the wiser part of me that knows that you need rest and space to grow.
Sometimes you need a reminder to walk your walk not just talk the talk. And by you, I mean me. So my new group coaching program will come out later this year and all the other stuff will get done when it gets done. But it’s all good. Without that stupid pressure, it seems to be a little bit easier and a whole lot more enjoyable.
So, I dare you to slow down for a day, my friend. Not while you’re on vacation. While you’re in your everyday insane life. Take a day to slow down a little bit and see what happens. Make it a science experiment. Make it fun. And do me a favor, let me know how it goes…