The One Where I Flew Across the World for a Second Date…

When I was 26, I decided to take the biggest risk of my life. I went on a second date…

In Myanmar.

For YEARS I had avoided taking risks.

I didn't have the hard conversations (even though they were with people I really cared about).

I wouldn't ask for the raise (even though I knew I deserved more money).

I wouldn't start a new career - even though the one I was in wasn't fulfilling for me.

I was more scared of the unknown and uncertainty than I was of feeling unfulfilled.

All I could imagine was that I wouldn't get what I wanted. All I thought about was, “What if it doesn't work out?”

There was NO PART of my brain that asked “But what if it does WORK OUT???”

I knew that I was holding myself back.

But my fear was bigger than my desire to change.

Then I met a boy. We went on an amazing first date. Two days later, he left for a six month MBA program. In Asia.

We wrote to each other every day for 6 weeks. And then he asked me to come visit him.And I decide this was the moment.

If I was going to have the life I desired, it was time for me to start taking some risks…

Soooo… I flew half way across the world to see if I might be the main character in the rom-com of my dreams.

It was pretty much a total disaster. AND it was one of the best experiences of my life.

If you want to get it right, you have to be willing to risk getting it wrong. 

If you're ready to take things to the next level but you find yourself paralyzed, it's time to take some risks.

When you're trying new things, there are no guarantees. 

The only way to getting it right is being willing to put yourself out there, let it be messy, and f*ck it all up. I promise that whatever happens, you'll be closer to your vision of “right” than you would be if you sit there trying to figure it all out before you get started.

Goethe once said, “The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety.”

Stop being safe. Try. Fail. Learn. Try again. Keep doing that and I promise you'll get there. 

Still crazy after all these years…

May is mental health awareness month and this is my yearly reminder that there is zero shame in taking medication for your mental health. 

This is what my anxiety felt like before I took medication: my mind raced all the time. Sometimes it was mild enough that I didn't notice. Sometimes I would go for days- even weeks- feeling a tightness in my chest, like I was on the brink of an anxiety attack, questioning every single thing at every single turn. It was nearly impossible for me to let even the smallest thing go. I went over things in my head again. And again. And again. 

And I thought this was normal. I thought everyone felt like this all the time. 

Because it was how I'd felt my entire life. 

I had no idea that I was suffering from high-functioning anxiety disorder. 

I will always be grateful to the woman who shared with me that she took lexapro and that it had made a huge difference in her life. That conversation changed my life forever. 

I'm here to normalize it for you, the same way she normalized it for me.

I've been on Lexapro for 8 1/2 years and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. Asking for help and finding a solution that would make my life easier was pretty much the opposite of failure. I was worried I would be a different person. (I'm not.) I was worried about all the side effects. (The side effects of chronic anxiety were wreaking WAY more havoc on my life and my relationships.) I was worried there was something wrong with me for needing medication to treat something in my brain. THERE WASN'T.

Anxiety is a chemical imbalance. lf you have asthma or diabetes or arthritis, you take medication to help you feel better and help your body function more effectively. You don't think twice about it. Taking care of your mental health is NO different.

I'm a pretty open book about this one so if you have questions, hit reply. 

And I'm not a medical professional so talk to one. Don't just put yourself on meds. But do take care of yourself. You don't have to suffer. And you don't have to do it all alone. 

Wanna know the enemy of productivity?

We looooove being busy. 

It's become a status symbol.

Wanna know what else it is? 

An avoidance technique. 

If you're busy enough, you don't have to admit that you don't like your job. Or your spouse. Or yourself. 

You don't have to think about the stuff you're avoiding. 

Or whether you're being the kind of person that you feel good about. 

You don't have to deal with the constant criticism that plays on repeat in your head.

You can avoid the challenging feelings that come up - like disappointment or anger or guilt or loneliness. Or maybe all four. 

You don't have to hang out with yourself.

Busy allows us to keep running on automatic.

But it doesn't work. 

In addition to the fact that avoiding all of the things I mentioned above is not a healthy way to deal with life (duh) - busy also keeps us exhausted and unproductive. 

Here's the kicker - when you slow down and get curious with yourself, get to know your values and start getting intentional with your life and CHOOSE how you want to live it, hanging out with yourself is actually awesome. 

How many of your working hours are actually productive? 

How often are you slowing down enough to ask yourself if you actually want to make the commitment to spend time with someone or take on the extra work? 

And what are you avoiding by packing every hour of every day?

Food for thought…

Inner Critic Masterclass starts this week!

If you've been thinking about it but you're on the fence, now is the time to join the Tame Your Inner Critic Masterclass. 

Maybe you told yourself this isn't for you.

Maybe you said you like your inner critic - it motivates you. (Yeah - I thought the same thing…) 

Maybe you think you don't have time. Or that you already know everything I'm going to teach. 

I have news for you…that's not “you”. It's your inner critic. 

You're sabotaging yourself and you don't even realize it. ⁠

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Your lack of awareness of those sabotaging voices that you think are “just you" is leaving you vulnerable to their very convincing - but very false- arguments. And it's keeping you from going after what you really want. ⁠

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The key to shifting it? ⁠

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Awareness. ⁠

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“But Michelle…how can I be aware of something that I don't even know exists.” ⁠

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I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!!! ⁠

⁠You can sign up for the TAME YOUR INNER CRITIC masterclass right here.

⁠

Here's what we'll cover: ⁠

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• Why your brain is telling you you're not safe - but it's a false alarm. ⁠

• Who your inner critic is (Nope - it's not your mom!) ⁠

• How to tame that negative voice in your head so that it stops getting in your way ⁠

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Once you have awareness, you can finally start to get out of your own way and work toward those dreams and goals that you've been too scared to try.

BAM. ⁠

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For more info and to register click here.

Is being in command a bad thing?

 An important question for you...

… what comes to mind when I say the word “command”?

If you're like so many women I know (including myself!) it's probably someone - often of the male persuasion - who is domineering, controlling and constantly flaunting their power over other people.

Or it could be someone telling you what to do in a way that feels like it's not a choice.

Maybe it's an army sergeant barking orders that you feel like you have to “obey”.

I'm going to guess that, regardless of what you imagined, you didn't imagine…yourself.  

But what if it was about being in command of yourself? Of every room you step into. Of YOUR DESTINY.

What if command was about you looking INSIDE of yourself for the answers rather than for external validation?

As women, we have been socialized to look outside of ourselves for validation and to make decisions about our lives. And what happens as a result? We stop trusting ourselves and our instincts. We do what other people think is best for us rather than trusting that we know what's best for ourselves.

And this cycle?

It slowly but surely erodes our confidence.

That was me 15 years ago.

I was in a job I wasn't that happy in, working toward a goal that I wasn't sure I even wanted to achieve, wondering if this was all there is to life…

So I started to explore.

Do you know how many “ideas” I had before I actually took the plunge and became a coach?

I can't even tell you - but my friends and family probably can. Because I asked for their opinion on most of them. I was going to be a yoga teacher. A makeup artist. 

An interior designer. Go back to school to get my masters. I had multiple business ideas and multiple book ideas.

And when I wasn't actually asking for their opinion, I was still sharing the idea and waiting for them to approve of it…

It got to the point where I was actually embarrassed to share my new ideas because I hadn't followed through on a single one of the 35 that had come before it. I questioned myself. I listened to what everyone else thought…and the people who told me it would never work or had ten thousand questions ALWAYS held more weight than the people that told me it was a great idea.

I had so many freaking opinions swirling around my brain that I didn't even KNOW what I thought anymore! 

All I knew was that I wanted that approval.

Because identifying as a woman often comes with looking for validation outside of ourselves.

We want someone else to give us their approval - whether it's a parent or a mentor or a friend that we deem more successful.

Interestingly enough, I didn't tell very many people when I decided to go take a coaching class. I was pretty sure they would all roll their eyes at me like this was just another one of my ideas that I would never follow through on and I was afraid that would get inside my head. I didn't want anyone else's opinion. I could feel that this was something I needed to try. Somehow I got back in command of myself and my dreams.

I'm guessing you might be able to relate. 

Are you waiting for someone to tell you that your idea - no matter how big or small - is a good one?

Are you waiting for someone else to tell you that it's ok to say no?

Are you waiting for someone else to validate the way you parent?

Or your choice to stay home with your kids?

Are you sitting on an idea that you are CERTAIN will make a huge difference for your company - but you're worried about what everyone else might think of you?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, if you're constantly looking outside of yourself for someone to tell you that you're making the right choices for YOUR life, I want to invite you to join me inside BACK IN COMMAND.

BACK IN COMMAND is a 6 week group coaching experience for highly ambitious whip-smart perfectionists, over-achievers & people-pleasers where you'll learn to go from feeling stuck, insecure, and steamrolled by other people's demands to feeling confident, courageous, and clearer than ever.

READ MORE ABOUT BACK IN COMMAND™

When you're BACK IN COMMAND™, you have the structure & tools, coaching, and community you need to remember there's more to this life than survival. You can thrive. You can feel fulfilled, successful, and believe in yourself. You don't have to grind it out day after day. This is your chance to show up bigger, braver & bolder in the world.

Because as women, we have got to stop looking to everyone else to validate us. 

Here's some of what you'll get out of this experience:

• Stop endlessly looking for validation from others. (You'll build your own confidence and you'll start trusting yourself to make decisions and moves that are right for you.)

• Learn to stop people-pleasing and focus on what's really important to you. (Whether it's things like determining if you want to stay in your job or saying “no” without second guessing yourself)

• Get clear about what you really want NOW (and discover the root of what's in the way…because if you keep “fixing” something and it doesn't stay fixed, you're not fixing the right thing…you're just putting a band-aid on it)
   

Sooo…whaddya say? Are you ready to be BACK IN COMMAND?
 

I'd love to see you inside.

Do you do this too?

About 8 years ago, I was the ghost writer on a book for a highly established and successful coach. 

This coach had shared that she had not been successful with the few ghostwriters that she'd tried and was looking for someone new to collaborate with. I was taken with the subject matter and with her Ted Talk - and I figured it would be a great opportunity to get to work closely with and learn from a successful coach. 

Turned out, she liked my writing and decided she wanted to give it a go! 

We worked together for several months while I interviewed her and others that she had trained in her process. I read through her notes, we revised her outline, and I got to work writing. 

After a few rounds of notes, she felt ready to send the draft to her editor. 

Several months later, she sent me a copy of the draft that was going to print. I read through the first few chapters and said to my husband, “Well, I guess I gave a decent outline for them to jump off of - but this is way better than the draft that I wrote.”

Just so I could really torture myself, I opened the version I'd written to see what, if anything, they'd kept of my original writing in the draft that was going to print.

As I started to read what I'd written, I had to laugh. The final draft - the one that was “so good” that I was convinced had been largely rewritten - was almost word for word the book that I had written. 

I've heard other stories like this. 

A doctor who saw the notes an attending had written several years prior and said to herself, “Jeez- this attending seriously has her shit together way more than you do and you have years of experience on her.” 

But when she looked at the signature at the bottom of the notes, it was hers. SHE was the attending who had written the excellent notes. 

These stories are Imposter Complex at their finest.

We spend our time comparing ourselves to others, convinced that we aren't good enough, knowledgeable enough, capable enough. 

And the truth is, most of the time there isn't a draft of a book or a signature at the bottom of a page to tell us otherwise. 

Most of the time, we continue to buy into the stories we tell ourselves - and we let them dictate our behaviors and our actions. 

The TAME YOUR INNER CRITIC masterclass is the first step toward getting out of your own way. Inside, I'll take you through my 4 step process so that you can: 

• Learn the difference between realistic thinking and being a judgmental bitch to yourself (like “what if I'm really NOT good enough to do that thing…? What if it's not just my inner critic?” I'll show you how to tell the difference)

• Hear your inner monologue with more discernment so that you stop thinking “that's just me”

• Learn how to slowly build confidence so that you hear that voice just a little bit less

• Stop worrying about taking care of everyone else and give yourself the space to figure out what really works for you.

BAM. ⁠

I can't wait to see you there. Here's the link again to register. 

Do you REALLY want balance?

The modern idea of balance is totally extrinsically motivated.

Finding balance has become the new standard of success for women. 

We think it will bring us satisfaction - but even when we do ALL the things that we think will bring balance, we don't feel satisfied.                                  

But we keep trying. Because whether we're aware of it or not, we think when we “achieve” balance, it will feel like another gold star, another A.

But we never actually get there.

The reason for this?

Balance is bullshit.     

It's unattainable. Yet another standard that women are measuring themselves by. 

We've taken on the idea of finding “balance” as a goal and you know what we've gotten? BUSIER. 

Aiming for balance has left women BUSIER. Adding more without taking anything away.

So - here's the real question…

Do you ACTUALLY want balance?

Or are you really looking to feel more joy? To feel more spark? Are you really looking to feel more ALIVE?

Because aliveness has absolutely zero to do with balance.

Balance has become another “should” for women.

Fuck the shoulds. 

What do you long for? What do you desire?

I would wager a hefty sum that if you really dig deep? It ain't balance.

OMG! I almost forgot!

Well hot damn, I almost forgot to send you an email today. 

The truth is, my creativity has come to an all time halt because of the events of the week. I can't get gun legislation off my mind. 

And honestly? I don't want to. If I could get it off my mind, I would worry that I was becoming numb to it all. And we can't be numb. 

So today, instead of spending a whole lot of time thinking about what I'm going to write to you, I'm sharing part of a post from one of the people that really inspires me to keep going politically, Jess Craven. (You can find the full post here.)

Jess writes a daily email called “Chop Wood, Carry Water”. Every day there are a few things we can do to keep going. I know it feels super futile at times, but she says it best in her Monday newsletter:

"I can only cry—again—at the young lives senselessly mown down. Then I can wipe my eyes, take a breath, and get back to work. I hope you'll join me.

Why? Because, as they say in recovery circles, “the only way out is through.” We will solve nothing by staying in bed and pulling up the covers. We can solve anything if we don't quit and continue to do the work. It hurts; it takes too much time; it seems we're making excruciatingly slow progress. But we are making progress and we must keep going."

- Jess Craven 

We must keep going. Don't underestimate the difference that each of us can make with a small daily action. 

I'll be back next week with more on leadership and designing a life you love. 

For this week, make a call to your senator. 

Subscribe to Jess's newsletter. She offers both free and paid options. I don't even know her personally. I just think she's brilliant and sharing her work feels right to me today. 

Hug the people you love. And don't give up. 

This one could be controversial

I think SMART goals are dumb. 

SMART goals are defined as:

Specific

Measurable

Actionable

Reasonable

Timebound

SMART. 

I don't mind specific. Measurable is fine. Actionable is imperative.

But reasonable goals can f*ck all the way off.

I don't believe in reasonable goals.

Because goals are about MUCH more than just achieving them. 
 

Goals are about who you become in the process of going after them. 

I believe in setting IMPOSSIBLE goals. 

What do you really want that seems totally out of reach? 

Who do you need to BE to get there? How do you need to show up differently in the world? 

When you set an impossible goal, I can guarantee you that, if you take messy action and go for it, you will surpass the reasonable goal that you were going to set. 

Stop being so reasonable. Go for impossible and see what happens. 

What if you change your perspective?

A few weekends ago, I went to see my younger daughter in her middle school production of “Crazy For You”.

These two images are from the exact same show. 

The first picture is five rows from the stage. The second picture is taken from the balcony.

Same exact show. Totally different perspectives. 

We spend most of our lives looking at ourselves and our situations from five rows back.

Try taking a look from the balcony view and notice what shifts.

Things look a lot different when you look at the full, big picture.

Feeling Behind? This One Is For You…

A few weeks ago, my older daughter came downstairs and asked me if I would help her to make a decision about whether or not she wants to play lacrosse this year.

We sat down and she listed out her pros and cons.

Her #1 con?

“Mom, I haven't played an actual game since 2021. I got hurt so early in the season last year that I didn't even get to play a game.”

I could see how nervous she felt about starting back up again. She was worried that the other players would be so much better than she is because she lost a year of playing - that she would be so behind she wouldn't be able to “catch up.”

I looked at my daughter and I said something to her that she'll hear me say again and again the rest of her life because it's important whether it's lacrosse or anything else.

It's NEVER too late to start again. 

It took me until I was 39 to learn this lesson. I'm hoping to save her some of that wasted time worrying that it's too late.

You can start anything anytime. You can start AGAIN anytime.

Will it be easy? NO.

But neither is sitting around wondering what might have happened if you'd tried. Or wishing that it wasn't “too late.”

Choose your hard.

P.S. She ended up deciding not to play lacrosse - but not because it was going to be hard. In fact, she said she wants to play again in high school. But she's discovered she loves volleyball a lot more than lacrosse - she feels more dedicated to it and she wants to spend her time getting better at that before the fall tryouts for high school. She made a super intentional choice…BUT that's a whole different email for another time.

What’s Honky Tonk Got To Do With Confidence?

Last weekend, we went to Nashville for a quick getaway.

Friday night we had tickets to a joint called The Listening Room and we got to hear a few songwriters sing some of their favorites.

One of the performers was Jen Schott whose songs have been recorded by Tim McGraw, Rascal Flatts, and Billy Ray Cyrus, to name a few.

Jenn sat on stage, strummed a few chords on her guitar and launched into song. 

And then she stopped.

“If I sing that song in that key, it's gonna be way too high.” she said as she looked down at her guitar and reconfigured the notes.  

And then she started over.

As soon as she started singing in the new key, the whole audience knew it was the right thing. 

Jenn knew she'd gotten off on the wrong foot. Maybe she was concerned about what other people would think about stopping once she'd already started - but if she was, she didn't let it stop her.

Because she knew that it was going to be better if she started over. She knew she was going to feel better if she started over. She knew she would perform better if she started over. And she owned it.

Give yourself permission to start over more often. We don't have to keep going in the wrong key or at the wrong speed or in the wrong direction. We don't have to let the beginning of a bad interaction define a relationship. We can ask to start over in a presentation if it gets off on the wrong foot.

Whether it's 5 words in or once the song is almost over - we all get to have do-overs whenever we're brave enough to ask for them.

Doing The Same Thing And Expecting Different Results?

Mindset matters. But alone, it will never change your life. 

This is why you can read alllll the books and listen to allllll the podcasts and nothing changes.

At a certain point, you're gonna have to decide you want it enough to get brave and start taking some messy action. 

At a certain point, you're gonna have to do the stuff that scares the sh*t out of you. 

At a certain point, you're gonna have to be willing to f*ck it all up and fall flat on your face in order to get to the other side where you'll find the thing you want.

It will be scary. 

I promise you, waking up ten years later still wanting that same thing is scarier. 

This is an invitation to give yourself permission to get messy. 

Take some risks. 

Start small. 

F*ck around and find out what happens. 

It will be worth it. You're worth it.

Can You Relate?

A gaggle of eleven year old girls were gathered in our family room watching a movie for my youngest daughter's birthday. 

I was in the kitchen - out of sight but available if anyone needed anything or on the off chance that there was an emergency. 

I realized at one point that I hadn't seen my husband in over thirty minutes. I had absolutely no idea where he was. 

Now - it's important for me to say that my husband is an amazing father, a loving and supportive husband, and an incredible partner at home. 

AND, on this night, he had disappeared from this birthday party. 

Why? 

Because men take the liberties to do things like disappear from a kid's birthday party because they always believe that women will be there to take care of things. 

It's not their fault (although it IS their responsibility to be a partner in changing it) but this is how we have all been raised. This is the impact of our patriarchal society on all of us. 

I never would have dreamed of not being available for the entire party. It's part of my DNA that I am responsible for the kids in my house. I wouldn't even leave the room without letting the other adult know where I was going. 

But men don't think about it that way. They just go and do what they need. Because (and this is the important part so keep reading!) 

Men have never depended on taking care of others for their survival. 

There was a time - not that long ago - when all women had to survive was their ability to care for others and ensure their happiness. 

Women didn't have any other currency in the world. 

• We couldn't own land.

• We couldn't vote

• We couldn't have a job.

• We couldn't have our own bank account, never mind a credit card.

• We were not even permitted to have physical strength.

Our only currency in life was making sure that others felt cared for. 

Our worth was determined by making sure other people were happy. 

This, my friends, is why so many women struggle with people pleasing. People pleasing is part of our DNA because it was required for survival. 

There's nothing wrong with you…

AND it's time to change our DNA for future generations. 

This Is Why My Clients Swear At Me…

Thank you. And fuck you. 

That was the goodbye I got from one of my clients this week. 

This is not uncommon. Other common goodbyes include “I hate you." and “Remind me why I'm doing this again?” 

When I hear any of these, I feel a deep sense of fulfillment. I know I'm effectively doing my job. 

I don't care if my clients like me. I don't care if my clients are uncomfortable. I don't care if my clients think about firing me. 

I care that my clients take the messy action that supports them in stepping into their greatness. 

That looks like saying the thing they need to hear even if they don't want to. 

It looks like pushing them to get into action before they feel ready.  

It looks like holding their feet to the fire so that they recognize that they're full of excuses. 

My clients hate me because change is hard. If it were easy, we would all make the changes that we know will make our lives more satisfying and fulfilling. They hate me because I don't let them get away with their own bullshit. 

But my clients also love me. They know that I hold the bigger vision that they have for themselves and their lives - even when it's hard for them to hold it for themselves. They know that I will help them find compassion for themselves when it's needed. They know that I refuse to let them give up on having the fulfilling career, relationship LIFE that they envision.  

That's why they hire me. 

I have space for two private clients. Curious? Scheduled a call to chat and see what life could look like in a year. 

I Lied!!!

I lied.

I told you I wasn't going to have a word of the year.

But this week, I gave in. Not only do I have one word this year, I have five:

2023: YEAR OF THE DANCE BREAK

Let me rewind.

Monday morning, I was having a SERIOUS case of I don't wanna. My inner brat was in FULL FORCE. “Go lie down.” “You can go back to bed.” “You had such a busy weekend…”

When you're an entrepreneur, there's no place that you HAVE to be on Monday morning. Meanwhile, I had a TON of work to get done before my first call at noon.

After I dropped the girls at school, I sat in my car scrolling Instagram for a few minutes when I came upon a remixed reel of a few women dancing because they needed a little pick me up.

I figured it couldn't hurt to try…

Turns out it was exactly what I needed to kick my inner brat to the curb and put a little pep in my step. 30 seconds of feeling myself to a little “Get Down On It” and I was a new woman!

So I've officially decided that 2023 is the year of the dance break. Because 30 seconds of shaking my hips did me some serious good.

It also reminded me of something that I need CONSTANT reminding of…

You don't need to make a big change in order to make a big change. 

You don't go directly from A to Z - you have to go through all the steps in between.

If you find yourself stopping before you started because it feels too big to tackle, start by thinking of one small step that would make a big difference and just do that.

It’s A New Year, But You Don’t Have To Act Like It

I don't have any resolutions.

I don't have a “word”. (I used to try this but I seemed to always forget my word by February 2nd.) 

No lists of what I learned in 2022. (except that I should stop trying to cook cod. 5th time wasn't the charm but it WAS the last time I tried!)

No new goals - I'm still working on some from 2022. 

And if this stuff actually works for you - great! 

But honestly, I don't really care that it's a new year.

Sure - I do business projections and look at what I need to do to hit my numbers. That's what you do when you're a CEO and it's the start of  a new fiscal year.

But there's no new year, new me. New year, same me.

Wanna know why? 

The pressure of the new year is too much for me. 

Honestly? It's really just a perspective…

Because it is an absolute fact that it's a new year. 

It's a matter of how I choose to approach it. 

When I think about “What do I want to accomplish in 2023?” it overwhelms me and STOPS me from figuring shit out. 

When I think about it as the next week in a series of weeks of my life and I show up, stay consistent with my habits and do the work…it just works better for me. 

Maybe it's because I am looking at my business (and my life) fairly often. You don't need an end of a year or the start of a new one to do that. You can do it anytime that feels right for you: the spring solstice, your birthday, May 14th, the first day of your kid's new school year…you get the idea. 

On a pretty consistent basis, I'm tracking my failures and successes. (And FYI, there are far more of the former but they get me to the latter).

I reflect, assess, reassess, keep going, change course, get knocked down and get up again. 

Every year has great moments. Every year has terrible moments.

That's life. It's like that great scene in “Parenthood." 

May this year be messy and inspiring and challenging and scary and beautiful and full of all the fun and surprises and screams and laughter of the rollercoaster. That's my wish for us all…in this year…and in this life.  

Did You Catch These in 2022?

This will be my last blog of the year. I'm taking some much needed time off and I'm unplugging completely.

I'm signing off with a reminder that whatever you are dealing with, I promise you, you are NOT the only one. On occasion, I bring some of my clients together and when I do, two things happen:

1. They all think the others are incredible bad-asses and can't believe they are surrounded by such amazing people. (They all think this about each other…which meeeeeeeans…the person having the thought is as incredible as all the people they are enamored with. DUH.)

2. They feel relieved to hear that they share so many of the same issues.

There is so much that occurs in realizing that you aren't alone - release of negative inner thoughts, space to explore new ways, and a sense of belonging that allows us to shine even more as individuals.

Which is why I'll be rolling out some more community based offerings in 2023. I can't wait to share what I've been working on…

In the meantime, wanna feel like you aren't alone in whatever you're facing right now? Do yourself a favor and listen to this podcast where Brené Brown shares about her reflections on her sabbatical. 

If you insist on using your new year to start new habits, do yourself a favor and listen to this 2-parter with James Clear on Atomic Habits. Or just go buy the book because it's a phenomenally worthwhile read.

Speaking of podcasts and books - listen to this one on boundaries. Once you do, I promise you'll want more so you might as well just go ahead and buy her book. And this one on parenting (which is actually really about re-parenting yourself so even if you don't have kids, it's SO worth the listen.) 

Those were my favorites of the year. 

And just in case you haven't listened to Brandi Carlile's memoir, Broken Horses - please, do yourself a favor and do it now. And yes - you have to listen - because she sings at the end of every chapter. Enough said. 

AND..if you haven't watched Extraordinary Attorney Woo yet, what are you waiting for? 

Thank you for being a part of my community and a part of my world. 

Whether I know you personally or we've never spoken; whether you've been around since the beginning or you've just joined me recently, I know how precious your time is and I feel grateful that you've chosen to spend some of it with me.

If you've been with me for a minute, you know that I freaking HATE all this new year, new you bullshit. But what I do hope is that this new year brings more and more permission to be your YOU-est you. That's what the world needs more of. Each of us to embrace all the magic of exactly who we are. 

Happy Everything.

The Life Changing Magic of Becoming

When my kids were little, I kept thinking about going back to work. At the time, my background was in entertainment so that's what I was thinking about going back to. 

I would interview for a job and get through several rounds of interviews - but I never got the job. Sometimes I got feedback, sometimes I didn't. Most of the time the job went to a single guy in his late 20's as opposed to the new mom of two young kids who'd been out of the game for a few years.

And every single time, I felt both disappointment and relief. 

I don't think it was that I was a new mom up against a single guy. I think it was the part of me that was relieved that kept me from getting the job time and time again. I wasn't sure that I actually wanted it.

If I had really wanted it, I would have kept trying and I'm sure that, eventually, I would have gotten a job. 

One of the last jobs I interviewed for was a really interesting role with a smart, talented woman. I loved our meeting. And at the end, she looked at me and said, “Michelle, I really like you. I'm really interested in you for this role. And I need you to consider if you're willing to eat and breathe this - because that's what this job is. And I know what it's like to have little kids at home. You never get that time back. So think about it…and let me know.”

At the end of the day, this woman was asking me to think about my values and what was most important to me.

And when I responded to her after the weekend, I told her that five years earlier, I would have jumped at the opportunity but that it wasn't the time for me to take a job that would leave little to no time for my kids.

It was one of the hardest emails I've ever written. And it was the right choice for me. 

Because freedom is one of my top values - and the reason for my desire for freedom is my family. I don't want a job that doesn't allow me to show up for my kids. The time goes by really fast. Yesterday they were 3 and 5 - today they are 11 and 13. 

My value of freedom was at odds with my value of accomplishment. And since entertainment was the only world I'd ever known, I couldn't see a path where I could have both. 

Part of the reason was the I was looking behind at who I had been instead of looking forward to who I was becoming. 

After that last job interview, I went for a hike on Runyon Canyon. As I looked out over Los Angeles, I asked myself what was most important to me right now. 

Not for the rest of my life. In that moment. I got quiet and I waited. And guess what happened?

Nothing. Nothing came to me.

So I went back down Runyon Canyon and went to pick up my kids from pre-school.  

That afternoon, I ran into another mom and she mentioned the writing class she was taking. I felt my whole body light up and I knew the answer had come to me...

So I started taking a writing class. Once a week, for three hours, I escaped dinner and bedtime to go learn, to be creative and to have something that was all for me. I had no idea when I started that class that it would crack me open to a world of possibility that I didn't know existed.

Eventually, when I was willing to listen, the answer came. And that answer allowed me to get a step closer to who I was becoming. 

We are all becoming all of the time if we allow ourselves to get quiet and listen. 

The Phoebe Buffet Approach to Money Mindset

Did you see that Friends episode where Joey (an actor), Rachel (a server & then a fashion exec) and Phoebe (a musician, massage therapist, cab driver…what hasn't Phoebe done?) felt left out because they didn't make as much money as Ross, Chandler and Monica?

Feeling a little loser-ish, Joey, Rachel and Phoebe tried to keep up so they could be the ones to:

• Cover the whole check for coffee

• Afford a 5 star dinner to celebrate Ross' birthday

• Chip in on an expensive gift without selling half their wardrobe to pay for it

Money can do this to us.

It can pressure us to keep up with our friends. It can eat away at our sense of self worth.

And even if you have money, you may feel guilty about it. So, you try to compensate by giving unsolicited gifts or loaning money to your friends or family, even when they don't ask for it.

Money doesn't need to have such a strong hold on us.

That's why my friend & coach, Katy Chen Mazzara, is teaching her Financial Freedom Method Masterclass.

It doesn't matter if you have money or not, I can guarantee you'll get SO much out of this FREE class.

You can…

… get that sweet sense of security that few creative types feel

… create your financial flow in the same way as your creative flow

… FINALLY know your worth deep inside of your bones.

Join the Financial Freedom Method Masterclass!

You Don't Need to Care About Money to Have True Financial Freedom.

You don't need to Know ANYTHING About Math, Compound Interest, or Excel Spreadsheets Either.

But you DO need to click here to join.

One of my greatest gift from working with Katy has been eliminating the shame attached to money.

It's time for you to get paid what you're worth, doing the work you care about the most.

And, Katy knows you want to see your money work harder for you than you work for it.

It's all possible with THE FINANCIAL FREEDOM MASTERCLASS: 6 Steps to Make More, Worry Less, and Still Keep Doing What You Love

Katy shares exactly what steps to take to escape feast or famine and embrace your new found financial freedom instead.

This training is 100% free, 100% live, and 100% awesome.

You've got three dates to choose from.

I mean…it's free - what do you have to lose? And I speak from experience working with Katy when I tell you - you have SO much to gain.