The First Secret to Success

I used to write a lot. But it’s been a reeaaaaallly long time. And every time I tried to write this, nothing came out. I know people say that all the time but I actually mean it. Nothing. Like I stared at a blank screen. (Writer's block you think- but keep reading.)  

When I finally started, I wrote some piece of dreck (translation:crap origin:yiddish) that’s resting on a page behind this one. There might be a morsel or two in there that I can take with me to another piece of writing one day, but it’s sure as hell not gonna be my second blog post on my brand new shiny website because that blog post had better be aMAAAAAAAzing! RIGHT? Right. Except in order for there to be a blog post, one would have to actually write. And up until about 30 seconds ago, I was totally paralyzed.

I haven’t been able to write a thing for that past week because I’ve thrown some sort of pressure onto myself that whatever I write HAS to be fabulous. It has to blow people away. It has to do a million things with some crazy high standards and while I’m at it, it should be good enough to go viral and make me a household name. No pressure. Low standards…no big deal. So I’ve been sitting here, staring at a blank screen. It’s not writer’s block, my friends. It’s called perfection paralysis.

And can you IMAGINE what my life will turn into if I have to say something totally and completely BRILLIANT and life changing every single time I choose to blog? I mean if that’s not a recipe for disaster, I don’t know what is. 

This is what is going through my mind right now. Very coach-esque. NOT. 

By the way, I haven’t even mentioned the seven BRILLIANT blog posts I wrote in my head over the course of seven different yoga classes. The words just flowed - one time the whole thing came to me in headstand, another time I was in down dog…but as soon as I came home and sat down to write them… PARALYZED. 

Aaaaah perfection paralysis. That little voice inside our heads that lets us know that we can’t do it until we’re ready. Until it’s ready. Until it’s “perfect”. The right moment, perfect timing, everything has to be in place. And the result? This moment I’m in - the bane of the existence of most people at some point in their lives and for many people, all of their lives.

How many times have you found yourself stopped dead in your tracks because you’re waiting for something to be perfect? How many times do you come up with all the reasons that it won’t work (when, if you really stop to think about it, there are just as many reasons that it will!) How many times have you stopped yourself BEFORE YOU EVEN BEGIN?

“What if this doesn’t work?”

"What if no one comes?”

“What if they don’t like it?”

"What if I fail?"

What if, what if, what if?

How will you know which might happen if you do nothing? 

What if it DOES work?

What if LOTS of people show up?

What if they LOVE it? 

What if you chose THOSE kinds of what ifs instead? 

And what if you do fail? What does that mean to you? Does it mean you are a failure? Or does it mean that you failed and now you get to learn from your mistakes and try again? There’s not a successful person in the world who didn’t fall down at least one hundred times along the way. The difference is that they didn’t let it stop them. They got up and started again.

And that right there is the secret to success of any kind - small or large. 

Start. Fall down and start again. 

That’s it. Type a word. Put on your sneakers and step outside. Get on your yoga mat. Ask her for coffee. Learn how to peel a cucumber. Schedule sex (and actually do it!) Make the phone call. Ask for help. Show up. Take one tiny step toward that thing you are paralyzed by and within moments, you’ll stop worrying if it’s perfect, and you’ll just be in it, doing the thing that you’ve been waiting to do, seeing where it takes you next. 

This blog post finally came because I started. Eventually, I just sat down and wrote. I literally wrote "I don't know what to write." I gave myself permission not to know and to see what happened and some semblance of words that made sense started to come together to get me here. Give yourself permission not to know exactly how it will turn out and to do it anyhow. 

Just start.