Go for the burn.

I almost missed boxing this morning and it was for SURE my subconscious saboteur telling me that I didn’t really want to go. Happened yesterday too right before yoga. My husband said he wasn’t going to cross fit so I could hit yoga at 9:00 AM but up until 8:27, I wasn’t going. It was a holiday…I went to boxing on Monday…I was still in bed…there were so many things I could get done... Then I went into that mode- you know the one- where you’re able to usurp all of your inner critics, your little devil that sits on your shoulder, your myriad of saboteurs- and you jump up, throw on your clothes and you’re out the door in two minutes before that little guy can creep into your thoughts and change your mind.

That’s what’s been going on with me lately. And then I get to boxing and we start the warm up and within the first minute, I am convinced there’s no way I’m gonna make it through the class. I think it will be a miracle if I don’t throw up during the warm-up. I wonder how it can continue to be this hard – I’ve been doing this now for two whole months with consistency despite the fact that my lazy little devil that sits on my shoulder has been telling me that I don’t really give a fuck about the $10 late cancellation fee that I would incur if I don’t show up or if I cancel less than eight hours before class. Eight hours ago, I was sure I would be there! Now, I’m pretty sure I could use some more sleep. I drank a lot of wine this weekend. My head feels like sludge, my feet feel like they are dragging through it. I can't get the combos right. No matter how many times I say the words in my head, the synapses that connect my brain and my body seemed incapable of firing. My brain says jab, my body decides to hook. My brain says more jumping jacks, my body cries no.

But as the warm-up continues, something starts to happen. My body starts to… warm-up. Instead of feeling like I might puke, I feel like I can punch harder. I notice that my muscles are feeling less fatigued further into the class. I love the feeling of the sweat as it starts to drip down my back. I welcome the burn in my legs as I push myself to do five more high knees over the hurdles. I stop thinking about whether or not I’m going to die and I start knowing that I’m going to make it through. And when we’re on our 750,000th sit-up, and my stomach is on fire and it feels like I can’t possibly make it for another repetition, I hear a voice inside my head say, “Hell yes you can. YOU GOT THIS.” And I did. I did ever single rep during the twelve minutes of ab work. Because when I heard that voice in my head, it reminded me that I need that same reminder throughout my life.

It’s so easy to stop when it burns. Whether it’s burning your abs or it’s burning your brain or it’s burning your heart. But you guys, that’s when you have to keep going. Because on the other side of the burn, there’s triumph. On the other side of the burn is the satisfaction that you kept going despite the burn. On the other side of the burn there lies gold.

There’s a sign in my boxing gym that reads “If boxing is hard, box more.”

Whatever you’re doing that’s hard – do it more.  Don’t let that little voice win. YOU WIN. You’re worth it.

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