I Wish There Were A Pill For That
It’s mental health awareness month and it’s time to make talking about our mental health the norm.
In 2014, after a week of panic attacks over a contract negotiation (it was about SO much more than the contract negotiations. duh.), I asked my doctor for a prescription to have on hand for the rare occasion that I had that kind of anxiety. You know what she said?
She said no.
OMG - I was SO pissed.
Wanna know why she said no?
She explained that panic attacks were a function of constant underlying anxiety which was a chemical imbalance. A pill I took in the midst of one of those episodes was a band-aid, not a solution. She said she’d be happy to talk to me about medication that would treat that underlying anxiety but she just didn’t believe in the “band-aid”.
She said no because she had my back.
Her answer made me so angry - I had been in therapy working on my anxiety for years. But when I calmed down and got honest with myself, I knew that she was right. My anxiety was better - but I was still an anxious person. My mind ran on overdrive all the time and all the yoga in the world couldn’t stop it. I cried for a long time because I felt like a failure - I had worked so hard and so long to “fix” this part of myself. But it wasn’t something that I could fix by myself. I picked up the phone and told my doctor I wanted to give it a try.
I’ve been on Lexapro for 7 1/2 years and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself.
I know now that asking for help and finding a solution that would make my life easier was pretty much the opposite of failure.
I was worried I would be a different person. (I’m not.)
I was worried about all the side effects. (The side effects of chronic anxiety were wreaking WAY more havoc on my life and my relationships.)
I was worried there was something wrong with me for needing medication to treat something in my brain. THERE WASN’T.
Anxiety is a chemical imbalance. lf you have asthma or diabetes, you take medication to help you feel better and help your body function more effectively. You don’t think twice about it. Taking care of your mental health is NO different.
P.S Reminder that I'm not a doctor and this is my personal experience with Lexapro.