The Grapple

As a coach, I love results. (I can just hear you…duh - what else you got for me Captain Obvious? JUST STICK WITH ME - K?) 

I love when my clients have a breakthrough. I love when they get a raise, a promotion or a new job they’ve been wanting. I love when they are brave, or set new boundaries, or finally take care of themselves in a way they’ve struggled with before. I love when they launch a new business or totally overhaul their company culture or start actually practicing self-compassion. I love when they have a hard conversation and shift a relationship, or give feedback in a way that they feel really proud of. I get tremendous joy from hearing about that kind of success. 

And there’s another part of coaching that’s actually more important, and it’s one I’ve had to learn to be OK with. Because on the road to any success, there’s usually a fair amount of time spent in ‘the grapple’. And most of the time, I don’t try to pull my clients out - I climb in and sit there with them. 

As a culture, we don’t like the grapple. We don’t like to sit in the muck. We like to get to answers and results. 

And let me be clear. I don't like the grapple either. It’s my most uncomfortable place. There's a reason I said I had to learn to be OK with it. I am not some buddha on the mountain who sits there all zen thinking “Oh, how I love being uncomfortable…this is delightful!”

I don’t know anyone who enjoys the grapple. 

Except the grapple, no matter how challenging, is where it’s at. The grapple is where the growth lies. 

Next time you’re feeling uncomfortable (perhaps right now? Just a hunch...) see what happens when you stop resisting and pushing away those feelings. See what happens when you allow yourself to get dirty and messy. See what happens when you surrender and sit in the grapple.